Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Scotti's LiveJournal:

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Friday, November 7th, 2008
4:28 pm	I'm sorry to have not been here for any of you for such a long time, but..... Life has been quite difficult for a long time. I finally got to the point where I couldn't manage my time in such a way that I could read my friends list anymore, so I finally had to give up reading it. It doesn't mean that I don't love you all, because I do. You wouldn't be on my "friends list" unless I cared about you. Very much. However, I am sure that I have missed many things I should have known, prayed for, sent loving thoughts and so forth. You have my abject apologies. I am still not at a point that I will be here very often, but I am finally getting there. Eventually I want to be back. I just wanted you all to know that I miss you, and I miss knowing about what is going on in your lives. I so enjoy keeping up with all of you, but it has just been too much for me to do. I have been too swamped, stressed and frantic with things here to spend the time I wanted to spend here. I am so sorry. I am finally starting to feel like myself again....dad's death and the ensuing stuff really knocked me for a loop and it has been emotionally awful and in practical terms it has been a huge mess that I didn't have the emotional reserves to handle as well as I wish I could have. When I lost my dad, I lost my daddy, my father AND my best friend. It was horrible and then there was all this mess with my family in regard to the estate. I haven't had anything left over to....well, I haven't had anything left over for ANYTHING. I work, I deal with stuff and I try to sleep. But the thing is? I am finally climbing out of this hole I have been dwelling in. I saw my Doctor today, and he said...totally out of the blue...."Cheri? You are better, aren't you? I can see it. I'm so glad. I've been worried about you." He is a total sweetheart, and an AWESOME Doctor. Anyway? I just wanted you all to know that I am sorry I have been gone and I hope that very soon I'll be back. For those of you who are on the UnaBoard, I want you to know that your support and love have helped me more than you could ever know. I am a moderator there, or I would probably have opted out from THERE as well. I really didn't have the time, just like here. It is such a good thing that I felt an obligation to stay there, because it forced me to stay in contact (such as it was, and it was pretty pitiful) with people I love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And for those of you who have hung in there with me, and not deleted me? Thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving me even when I wasn't present in your lives. I'll be back, I promise. My love to all of you. Cheri (48 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 9th, 2007
5:38 am	Relay for Life: Reminder Hello, friends..... I don't want to bug you, but here is a reminder that the Relay for Life is Friday, so if you wanted to contribute? This is the last week to do so. Details Relay for Life Thanks for your consideration! (Comment on this)
Friday, June 8th, 2007
9:24 pm	Sheesh. When I was a child, I got addicted to General Hospital. My brother teased me out of it. Then, when I was older, I got addicted to Another World and Days of Our Lives. I quit them both, cold turkey, the day that AW was canceled. I gots me some SSTTRROONNGG self control, I do. :) Then there was Reba, which I enjoyed a great deal...but I wasn't addicted. See, after the AW and DOL addiction was defeated, I swore I'd never get addicted to a TV show again. Thus far, I've held to it. Then, recently, I happened to catch an episode of CSI:Miami in reruns on A&E. And another one. AND...another one. Sigh. "Hello, my name is Cheri and I am a CSI:Miami addict. And up until recently, I didn't even LIKE David Caruso father of my children-to-be" Please don't help me, I'm enjoying myself. :D Current Mood: silly (6 Comments |Comment on this)
5:44 pm	Relay For Life..... Once again this year, my family has a team in the local Relay for Life (the link is to my thread from two years ago) if you'd like more info about the event)........a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. This will most likely be our last year to have a family team, as my nieces....who are the team captains....are quite busy with family. Elizabeth had a baby one year ago and is still working full time. She barely has the energy to breathe. Katie and her husband are hoping that she will have the same problem by next year. if you are a praying person, or want to send positive thoughts toward this end, please do so! I'd be very grateful.... This year the event is July 12-13. My goal is to raise $1000.00, which will be matched by the employer of one of our team members. So each dollar you donate will actually end up being $2.00......what could be better? :) I'd really appreciate your help, and this year you can donate online at My Donation Page ....or, as always, you can email me for my home address and send me a check made out to the ACS. I can also receive donations at PayPal. My email address is Scotticher@aol.com and that is the name/address I use on PayPal as well. Please remember that I have a new address, so if you have the Grant Street address you'll need to email me for the new one. As I said in last year's thread, this is an effort close to my heart. I lost my mom and my brother to pancreatic cancer almost exactly a year apart. We, as a family, believe very strongly that this horrible disease CAN be beaten....and I would like to see it happen in my lifetime. If you would like to help, it would be greatly appreciated. I am dedicating my efforts this year to my good friend Rebekah Neely, who died of cancer just two months ago. She was one of the best people I have ever known, and she is greatly missed....both by me, and by so many other people. Thank you so much for your kind consideration of my request! My Love, Cheri "Remember Me" lyrics Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: Remember Me Mark Schultz (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 31st, 2007
9:23 pm	When I got dad home from the rehabilitation place last May, his toenails were in such good shape. I had been trying to get him to allow me to trim his toenails for a few years not that I really WANTED to trim his toenails, you understand, but looking at his poor toes after HE had butchered them made my skin crawl and I was STRONGLY of the opinion that I should be doing them instead of HIM doing them.... and he would not admit that he wasn't doing JUST FINE and I should just shut up about it that isn't how he put it, but it IS what he meant.....so I just shut up. Anyway, when he was in the rehab place, the aides trimmed his toenails and they were looking pretty good. So I mentioned this to his favorite aide, and she suggested that I take him to Le Nails from then on and get him pedicures once a month. I said I wasn't sure he'd let me, so she said she'd talk to him. She said "Roy, I think you should have someone do your toenails for you from now on, and I have this place that would be good. Why don't you ask Cheri to take you there?" So when we got home, HE suggested it to ME! YAY!!!!!!!!!!! So I started taking him there, and he loved it. The ladies there loved him, and they spoiled him. They not only did his nails, they made a fuss over him and rubbed his legs with lotion and told him he was the best "darling grandfather" I didn't understand what they called him, so I asked what they were saying and that is what they said that they were honored to serve. They are Korean. Anyway, he loved going there and I took him once a month. I had him take my sister there for his May appointment for her Mother's Day present and she loved it too. Dad had an appointment the Friday after he died (on Wednesday.) I called to cancel his appointment, and the lady who owns the salon said (after expressing sorrow and sympathy) "Why you not come? You never have nails done, just read magazine. You send sister, you send (darling grandfather) but you not come. You come." *** And then she hung up. Well, I was nonplussed. I mean, what do you do when a person will not ALLOW you to cancel an appointment? I thought about having my office assistant call and cancel. But at that point I was pretty demoralized in general, and I figured....what could it hurt? I had never had a pedicure. I had never had a manicure. (Still haven't had one of those)and so....I went. I felt like death warmed over, but....I went. I walked in the door and all of the ladies who had worked on dad over the months came over to me, one by one, to tell me how much they had loved (darling grandfather) and how sorry they were that he was gone. They bundled me into a chair, shoved my jeans up to my knees and stuck my feet into a hot soak bath. They argued over which one would "get to do" my pedicure or that is what it looked like, they were speaking Korean and the one who won the argument got high-fived by the others. How they figured it out? I have no idea. All I know is that the one who GOT high-fived is the one who actually DID my pedicure. So I think she won, not lost. :) 'course, it could have been because I always tipped well when I paid for dad, but I choose to not believe that. So sue me. :) Anyway, so during all of that I was sitting in this chair with my feet in this hot water soak with some kind of wonderful smelling stuff in it.....dissolved into tears. so much kindness overwhelmed me, and besides which I was pretty close to tears ALL the time at that point...much better now, but still prone, you know? The lady who "got to do" my pedicure came over and literally CLUCKED over me, I kid you not. She did some stuff with the chair and...it started doing this rolling Shiatsu kind of massage on my back. She adjusted the chair to my short height. She showed me magazines. I said no thank you. She said "Yes, keep your mind off"***....and showed me more until finally I just chose one to make her happy. She smiled. I smiled through the tears. She was so very sweet. She indicated that I should choose a nail color. I said "no thank you, no nail polish." She clucked again, this time disapprovingly. She went and conferred with the phone lady, who looked like she said "for today, humor her. She's in grief. Here....use this, maybe?" Again, I have no idea and handed her a bottle of clear nail polish...and my lady came back and started the pedicure. It was very relaxing, and at the end she said...."Okay clear?"*** and held up clear nail polish. I was jello by that point, and jello doesn't have an opinion so I shrugged. Her face lit up like the sun and she finished me off. Then she put my thongs (shoes, people, SHOES! :D) back on and led me over to some kind of black light thing. I assume to dry the nails or something. You sit there and put your feet under this desk with a place for your feet. After awhile, my lady came back over and told me I could go, so I did. Well, I paid and left. A few weeks later, I noticed that it was time to trim my toenails and I thought to myself "You know, maybe this time I should have some actual COLORED nail polish...." and an addiction was born. And...it was. It is ALL DAD'S FAULT! :D :) ***Just to be clear, these are actual quotes more or less and I don't want to perpetrate any stereotypes as to the way people who immigrate to this country converse. I couldn't care less how they express themselves, so long as they can make themselves understood. As these people do. Very well. And they are so very kind that even if they couldn't make themselves understood with words, they'd have done it with love. Why, you might reasonably ask, am I going on and on about this tonight? other than the fact that I have possibly lost my mind, which is a good question. One I choose not to address. I'll think about that some other day, okay? Well, I have apparently become the prisoner of my addiction, and I thought I should bare my soul to you, my friends. Because...I had a pedicure two weeks ago, and my toes have been a beautiful thing to behold ever since. Once I got beyond the "why should I have COLOR on my TOENAILS" thing, I settled on a shade called "Hippie Chic" by China Glaze as...MY shade. not that I think no one else should be allowed to use it, I'm not THAT nuts.... and every month since my second pedicure I have had toes that brought me joy every time I looked at them. But tonight? I chipped the nail on the big toe on my left foot. I was moving boxes around as you know I am trying to get my father's house cleaned out and MY house cleaned out and sorting and moving stuff in and stuff out.....as I move into dad's house, the house I grew up in.....and I stubbed my big toe on something and.....I CHIPPED MY TOENAIL POLISH! Reallllly bad. AND I CAN'T JUSTIFY ANOTHER PEDICURE UNTIL TWO MORE WEEKS HAVE GONE BY! Just thought I'd share. Other than that, things are going well. I jacked up my back really bad a couple of weeks ago but I am finally better and the way I look at it? Well, any day you can move around without feeling like someone is sticking knives in your back is a good day. Unless you have a badly chipped nail polish situation on your big toe. :D (23 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 26th, 2007
10:03 pm	Well. In general, I don't respond prolifically to your journal entries because in general I have nothing useful to say. When I DO have something that I think is useful to say, I say it. I read all of your entries, though. I read them all, because if you are on my friends list? I care about you and I want to keep up with your life. Just after Easter, I fell down a rabbit hole and I stayed there for much longer than I should have. I knew what triggered the depression, and I was dealing with it, and I was climbing out about a week later, but then I lost my good friend Rebekah....and fell right back down. I am not a person who gets depressed, not really. Seldom, anyway. I can count the times in my life on one hand. But that makes it worse when I actually GET depressed, because A) It takes me awhile to realize that THAT is what is going on and B) Then I feel all outraged at myself because I am depressed. Well....I've been depressed. And when I'm depressed, I "turtle." I pull my head into my shell and I find it hard to do anything except for what I HAVE to do...which is work. So I'm climbing out again, and I've climbed far enough so that I finally read back through my friend's list to find that a lot of you have been going through some bad stuff and I wanted to say that I am sorry that I haven't been there for you and I wanted you to know that I am sorry. You matter to me. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. You are in my prayers now. I'm sorry I couldn't have said so before. I love you all. (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 5th, 2007
5:33 pm	Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd like to thank everyone for their beautiful cards. I have them displayed on top of the entertainment center at dad's house, and I have had great fun explaining to everyone who starts looking at them who everyone is. "This is my friend from GA's twins. Aren't just TOO cute? These are my friends from TN, isn't their baby adorable? This card is from my friend in ...." and on and on. You have all helped me to feel less alone during this difficult holiday, and....you made me feel very cherished. I LOVE YOU ALL! Current Mood: loved (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 9th, 2006
5:15 pm	Now....THIS is something I can get behind! ...except for the 28% I scored in class. What's up with THAT? Seems to me it should have been at LEAST 75% in the class category. Don't you think? don't answer that. Not if you value your life, anyway! :) Katharine Hepburn You scored 11% grit, 14% wit, 57% flair, and 28% class! You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women. Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the Classic Leading Man Test. My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on grit You scored higher than 99% on wit You scored higher than 99% on flair You scored higher than 99% on class Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test (14 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, November 25th, 2006
10:30 pm	Just wanted to let you all know that I am doing okay. I'm missing my dad more than I can say, since I have come to realize that he was the only person I spent time with, outside of work, for a very long time. He wasn't just my dad, he had become my best friend. And I miss him like fire. This was bad planning on my part, but I don't regret it. The friends who truly loved me before this journey started still love me and have hung in there through the past ten years. And furthermore? All of you have been awesome. As have the friends I have on the UnaBoard. The problem is that all of the fun has gone. I do things that I used to love doing with dad....and although I still enjoy them? The real joy of it is gone. I watch the Seahawks and....he isn't there, commenting unfavorably, when the refs mess up. I make comments? And there is no one there to hear them. And I cry. Sure, there are lots of people in my life who I could go watch the Seahawks games with. BUT...I don't WANT to watch the games with THEM...I want to watch them with dad. I feel like a two year old, drumming my heels on the floor and saying "But I don't WANT to watch the game with anyone else. DADDY! Come back here RIGHT NOW and watch this game with me!" How stupid is THAT? Pretty stupid. But I know that this too shall pass. And I know that I am not alone, and that my life isn't over. It is just different. Some people have said that it will be better, that I now have the ability to regain my OWN life and that I will. I know that this is probably true, but....somehow it seems wrong to me. At this time, anyway. And I kind of resent anyone telling me that my life as it was was somehow...wrong. Because it wasn't. It was the right thing for me to do, and I don't regret doing it. I know that this will change, too. I am not, and never have been, good with change. I like things to continue on in the same comfortable groove that feels....right. Well, it can't and I'll get past it sooner or later. On a practical note, things are going better than I would have expected with my family in re: the estate. I'm blest with a wonderful family, and I appreciate them more every day. I'm planning on buying dad's house, and I was expecting resistance in the form of making it too hard for me to afford to do this. I'm going to skip a lot of stuff, but suffice to say that views on this from some of my family members who are involved in the estate situation have gone from here to there...and appear to have settled in a manner that is surprisingly, awesomely wonderful. I'm praying that things continue along the path they appear to be traveling. I see God's hand in this, as two of my family members have changed their positions dramatically from earlier apparent attitudes...and for no apparent reason. I can only thank God that he changed their hearts, and I do. Because, frankly? It is miracle. Truly. So, all in all? I'm doing as well as can be expected. Thank you for all of your prayers and good thoughts and the love I have felt coming my way. I appreciate you, and YOU ROCK! My Love, Cheri Current Mood: grateful Current Music: Something by Josh Groban. Sorry, I can't spell it. :D (26 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 14th, 2006
6:12 am	PS....you should have SEEN how the person who signed the card mangled some of your "names." I especially liked yours, Gundy. You ever been in a Superman cartoon? From now on I'm going to call you Solomon. :D Current Mood: amused (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 13th, 2006
9:19 pm	THANK YOU SO MUCH to sassy, Jadis, Zette, Gundy, Welfy, LordJim, Diane, msmammalove, Crankyasanoldma(n), Hamadryad, Evilbeth, your_new_cuckoo, Bobkitty, Adpaz and tristam, Aries28, Geobabe and UncleBill!!!!!!! I cannot begin to say how much I appreciate your kind gift. It is a very "usable art" kind of ceramic planter with several plants, beautifully arranged. And right in the middle there was a gift of melt-in-your-mouth chocolate from one of our best local chocolatiers. AND....a soft and floppy sweetie-puppy, just the kind of animal you need to have when you need something soft to hold tight and cry into (but unlike the kind that breathes, it won't bite you when you squeeze too tight....) Sorry this thank you is belated but...( out-of-town relatives and my neighbor works the graveyard shift this month ) I'm hanging in there. Once again....to everyone who posted to my entry about dad's death, and/or who sent love and prayers and positive healing thoughts.....you have my deepest gratitude. I think I'll feel up to writing more about the past two weeks in a few days or a week....right now my emotions are pretty raw and it is better for me to try not to dwell on them. I love you guys! Cheri Current Mood: thankful (4 Comments |Comment on this)
6:35 am	THANK YOU!!!!!! I JUST got the beautiful ceramic planter/plants,chocolate and puppy that you sent me (you know who you are) and I can't tell you how much I love and appreciate you all! I'm off to work, but I'll explain why I just got it when I get home. With more effusive thanks, too. :D I'm hanging in there, and I hope to catch up with LJ tonight. Hope you are all well. I LOVE YOU! Cheri Current Mood: grateful (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 2nd, 2006
10:33 pm	I want to let you all know that my dad stepped into glory on Wednesday. I am happy for him, since I know that he is in Heaven with mom..... but I feel very lost. Dad has been the focus of my life for so long that without him here it feels like the Grand Canyon has taken up residence in my heart. It was a total shock, I had no reason to expect this. I will be fine eventually, I know that God will get me through this. But for now, I am totally bereft. Thank you in advance for your love and prayers and healing thoughts, since I know you will all be here for me. You always are. I have always appreciated the support I have gotten from you. So much. So VERY much. My Love, Cheri Current Mood: sad Current Music: Homesick Mercy Me (50 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 10th, 2006
8:55 pm	I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate those of you who chose to support my involvement in the Relay For Life this year. Our team is a family team, and this year things were kind of...difficult. One of my nieces was having a baby. Dad had been sick, in a MAJOR way, since January. Frankly, we pretty much sucked as a team. We were too stressed out to do our usual fund raisers. We had so many other things on our minds. Still, with your most excellent help? We managed to raise approx $3500 bucks. Which was matched by BP, so we ended up raising approx $7000 bucks for cancer research. I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate your support. All I CAN say is... THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
6:37 pm	Relay for Life: This Friday! I don't mean to bug anyone, but the Relay for Life is this weekend. Just in case you had planned to donate and forgot, here is my donation website. It is too late to mail checks, but you can use your credit card on the website....or use PayPal. Remember....every dollar you donate will be matched by BP! Thanks again for your consideration! My Donation Page (More details can be found in my entry of June 13, 2006. Which would be the two posts below this one. Not very prolific, am I? :D (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 3rd, 2006
10:15 pm	Reason #405 Why I Need a Keeper.... So. Tonight my sister came up to visit dad, and I got a night off. I love my dad and I don't mind at all spending time with him...he's a sweetheart, and he's good company. But still....a night off was kind of nice. So. I got to thinking that it had been a really long time since I had conditioned my hair. So. I washed it, slathered conditioner on and slapped on a plastic bag. I then poked my glasses through the bag so I could see my computer screen while I was letting the whole mess bake for an hour or so. Well, when the hour was over, I decided to make things easy for myself and de bag my hair in the kitchen by the garbage can instead of doing it in the bathroom...where I would have to trek the bag back to the kitchen to the garbage can. When I did this, I heard something 'clunk'. I looked around and didn't see anything out of place. So, I got into the shower and washed the gunk out of my hair. I am sure you can see where this is going? And then I looked around for my glasses. My $365.00 glasses? And...no glasses. I looked around the BR, then moved out to the kitchen and the living room. No glasses. THEN...the "clunk" thing registered. And, sure enough, there in the garbage can were my glasses. It might even be #406. Or even #1047. (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 13th, 2006
10:22 pm	I'd appreciate your support.... Once again this year, my family has a team in the local Relay for Life (the link is to last year's thread if you'd like more info about the event)........a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. This year the event is July 14-15. My goal is to raise $750.00, which will be matched by the employer of one of our team members. So each dollar you donate will actually end up being $2.00......what could be better? :) I'm a little (actually a LOT) behind in my fund raising activities this year, what with one thing and another. As in, I have raised exactly....nothing. So far. I'd really appreciate your help, and this year you can donate online at My Donation Page ....or, as always, you can email me for my home address and send me a check made out to the ACS. I can also receive donations at PayPal. My email address is Scotticher@aol.com and that is the name/address I use on PayPal as well. As I said in last year's thread, this is an effort close to my heart. I lost my mom and my brother to pancreatic cancer almost exactly a year apart. We, as a family, believe very strongly that this horrible disease CAN be beaten....and I would like to see it happen in my lifetime. If you would like to help, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for your kind consideration of my request! My Love, Cheri "Goodbye My Friend" lyrics Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: "Goodbye My Friend" Linda Ronstadt (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 19th, 2006
5:50 pm	I swear, I posted this almost two weeks ago. I mean, I really DID? But apparently I didn't hit the right button or something. Not surprising, I suppose, since I spent four months losing brain cells right and left. Apparently. From stress-related problems, I assume. :D ( News on dad, and other stuff ) (15 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 19th, 2006
6:46 pm	Thank you to all of you who blessed me with birthday love. Things are not so good right now and your love made my birthday much more special than it would have otherwise been. I love you. Cheri (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, September 30th, 2005
8:36 pm	Happy Birthday Lord Jim!!!! May you have the best year of your life, starting today! I love you, my friend..... Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: "But I Like You" Bert and Ernie (5 Comments |Comment on this)